


in which you die.

by Echoe



Category: Sweet Elite (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Scholar dies, sorry., the others are there sometimes but idc im not gonna bother tagging them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:27:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28479162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Echoe/pseuds/Echoe
Summary: You're not getting a happy ending.I'm sorry.
Relationships: Karolina Nováková/Neha Rao/Scholar
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	in which you die.

**Author's Note:**

> me : (mentions to nessa how sometimes i think about scenarios where scholar dies)  
> me : ahah what if i actually wrote about it,,, ahah,,  
> me the following day : (is writing about it)

Technically, it's your fault.  
You got distracted by this huge panda plushie in a store front while your friends were already crossing the road.  
When Neha called out to you, you didn't check the light. You didn't see it was red.  
You just ran.  
And then Neha was screaming, alerting Karolina.  
And then the truck was upon you.  
And then Karolina was screaming, but you couldn't hear her anymore.  
(Neha was frozen in place.  
She's the one who actually saw the whole thing.  
Who saw the truck barreling toward you.  
Who saw the truck hit you.  
Who saw your body flying.  
It was all too much.  
Karolina rushed over to you but she stopped short when she saw you lying in a pool of your own blood, arms and legs twisted at weird angles, body unmoving.  
She should have been calling an ambulance, but she couldn't.  
She just... stared at you.  
This couldn't be happening.  
When it all really hit her, she finally gagged and fell to her knees, trying really hard not to throw up while tears streamed down her face.)

A passerby eventually called an ambulance for you, though, and you were rushed to the hospital.  
And now the girls are waiting in silence.  
(Neha still hasn't shed a single tear.  
Or spoken a single word, for that matter.  
She's just sitting there, staring at nothing.  
Karolina's close because she needs the comfort but she isn't quite sure Neha's even noticed her.  
She's trying not to cry because you're in good hands now, you'll be fine, right?  
It'll all be okay.  
Right?)  
At some point, they hear hurried footsteps and the clicking of heels, and Karolina looks up to see Tadashi, Alistair and Lady Arlington.  
(She guesses they contacted the school, but she doesn't know why Lady A came in person.  
It's a bit odd.  
But she really doesn't care right now.)  
After that, your other friends all show up, one after the other.  
Despite there being so many people, the only thing they can hear is Claire whispering to Neha, trying to snap her out of it.  
(She doesn't succeed.)

Eventually, the door to the surgery room opens.  
You're not dead, the surgeon says.  
You're not dead, but...  
You're not exactly... in the best state.  
He can't say when you'll wake up.  
He can't even say _if_ you'll wake up at all.  
...  
He can't _even_ say that you'll stay okay.  
That your state won't... suddenly worsen.  
No one takes the news well.  
But at least you're not dead.  
That's something, right?  
Ahah.

At some point they have to leave, it's late, and despite numerous protests, Lady A manages to get them back to school.  
They separate, everyone going back to their dorm room.  
They really could use the rest.  
(Karolina watches her best friend doing her night routine silently, as if on auto-pilot.  
It's scary.  
She still hasn't even acknowledged Karolina at all.  
When it's time to go to bed, Karolina asks her if they can sleep together.  
She's still for a bit, then gets into her bed without a word, but she stays on one side to make room for Karol.  
Karol lies down beside her, and soon enough she's moving over to cling to Karol, burying her face in her chest.  
And then, finally, she cries.  
And Karol wants to be strong for her, but she ends up crying, too.  
This whole situation just feels so hopeless.  
Late into the night, when they're too tired to cry, Neha whispers something, too quiet for Karol to hear, so she hums questioningly.

"It's my fault," Neha repeats. "If I hadn't called out to her... She wouldn't have... She wouldn't..." she can't finish the sentence. She's crying again.

Karolina's crying, too.  
She can't help it.  
Any mention of it just makes the image of your bloody body lying on the ground flash into her mind.

"It's not- it's not your fault," she chokes out between sobs. "If anything, it's... It's the," her voice breaks there, barely sounding coherent, "the driver's fault-"

Neha isn't really listening anymore anyway.  
They're just both crying their heart out again.  
Eventually, they pass out.  
They're so tired.  
Not too long ago they'd all been talking about how summer vacation was in less than two months.  
How did it come to this?)

The next few days, everyone visits you, every day, until they realize that they can't easily afford it with how much work they have.  
So they decide to take turns, instead. There's no point in everyone crowding your room every day like that, and some have too much work and can't balance it with these daily visits.  
Almost everyone agrees.  
Almost.  
Karolina doesn't comply, she just won't, she's barely getting any sleep anymore but she doesn't care.  
She just needs to see you.  
Needs to make sure you're still breathing.  
Wants to be there in case you wake up.  
(She wants to be the first one to know.)  
Neha tries to comply. Clients are waiting and she can't disappoint them.  
But she can't get any work done.  
She keeps thinking about you.  
Staying away doesn't do her any good.  
(At night she sees you dead, and when she wakes up she isn't sure if it was a dream or reality.  
And then she spends all day haunted by the thought.  
At least, when she's at your side, she knows you're still alive.)  
So she gives up, in the end, and visits you every day with Karol.  
She finds out she feels calm enough, sitting next to your bed, to actually work on her designs, so it isn't so bad.

Soon enough, they all fall into a routine.  
One of your friend will visit, finding Neha sitting in a chair on one side of your bed, sketching in her notebook, and Karolina on the other side, either on her phone or dozing off.  
(Once, Axel entered the room, only to be met with a soft 'shhh' from Neha.  
He quickly noticed that instead of dozing off, Karolina was for once actually sleeping, her head resting on your bed.  
He didn't even smirk at the sight.  
He knew she was running herself thin.)

Two weeks after the accident, when Neha opens the door to your hospital room, she sees a man that she does not know.  
He's sitting really close to your bed, and while she only sees his back, she can hear him crying softly.  
Karolina joins her only a minute after, and now they're both staring at this man who hasn't noticed them yet.  
Neither of them really knows if they should make their presence known or leave.  
That is, until he speaks.

"Ma puce... Comment est-ce que ça a pu arriver..."

Neha only blinks at this. She can tell it's french, but it's not like she can understand it.  
Karolina, while not an expert, still notes the petname.  
She realizes that this man might be your dad.  
They should leave for now.  
(They wait outside the hospital, sitting on a bench.  
They talk a bit about your father.  
They never thought they'd meet him like this.  
It should have been on a much happier note.  
...  
The reality of the situation is hitting them again.  
It's hard.  
It's even harder when they see him leave the hospital.  
He's still crying.  
They might just cry again, too.

When they go back to your room, they decide to sit next to each other, instead of on either side of your bed.  
Neha doesn't sketch in her notebook that day.  
She holds Karolina's hand and, after some debating, she leans forward to grab your hand, too.  
Karolina leans on her, clenching her hand, staring at you.  
They don't talk much.  
They almost cry again.  
Why won't you wake up?)

It's been a month now.  
You don't seem to be getting any better.  
Worse, sometimes, the heart rate monitor attached to you suddenly speeds up or, on the contrary, drops to worryingly low speeds, and then there's a lot of panicking.  
Every time it reminds them that you're not okay. You're not okay at all.  
It's not just a matter of you waking up. It's a matter of you staying alive at all.  
Once, Karolina overhears a doctor say that there's not much hope for you.  
She ends up blowing up at him and causing a scene. She almost gets thrown out of the hospital.  
But who can blame her?  
They can't just _say_ these things.  
They can't just give up on you.  
They can't write you off as a lost cause.  
They have to keep trying.  
There has to be a way.  
You can't just be gone.  
I mean, you're right there.  
You're still breathing. Your heart's still beating.  
If she waits a bit longer, surely...  
Surely you'll come back.  
(She'll keep telling herself that.)

One saturday, Neha comes to visit you early.  
(She's been having these nightmares again, and seeing you is the only thing that really helps.)  
So she sits down and sketch.  
But she gives up after, like, ten minutes, and instead moves closer and grabs your hand.  
(There's something comforting about it.)  
An hour later, when the door opens, she expects Karolina (but wait, no, she has a photoshoot this morning), or one of your other friends.  
Instead, she sees the man from last time.  
Your father.  
He stops when he notices her.

"Oh, hello there."

She blinks.  
She didn't prepare herself for any kind of social interaction today.

"Um. Hi."

It's really awkward.  
Neha doesn't know if she should be trying to talk to him or if she should just leave him alone. Would that be rude?

"Are you one of my daughter's friends?"

She realizes that he's looking down as he's saying this, and she follows his gaze to your joined hands.  
She startles, letting go of your hand. Her cheeks darken.

"I- Yes, I'm... I'm one of her friends."

Your dad chuckles at Neha's reaction, though it sounds half-hearted.  
He looks tired.

"I'm glad."

He doesn't elaborate, and Neha doesn't ask. She watches him grab a chair and take a sit opposite to her.  
For thirty minutes, they sit in silence, with the beeping of the cardiac monitor being the only sound in the room.  
Neha doesn't find it very comfortable, but she doesn't want to leave. So she tries to concentrate on her notebook.  
Until eventually, he speaks.

"I have to leave the US soon."

She looks up, blinking.  
Where did that come from?

"I can't..." he pauses, frowning, then a flash of realization crosses his face, "I can't afford to stay here any longer. It's too expensive for me."

That's understandable, she presumes.  
As far as she knows, after all, your family isn't rich.  
Your dad probably needs to get back to his work.  
But what is she supposed to say to this?

"So I wanted to ask you... Could you look after her? Just... Knowing that she has a friend checking on her... It would make me feel better."

Oh, so that's what this is about.

"There's no need to ask, sir. I already visit her every day. And her other friends visit her often, too. Your daughter is..." she pauses, a small smile forming on her lips, "... she's very loved."

Hearing this seems to make his smile a little brighter.

"Is that so? I'm... I'm glad to hear it." He looks down at you. "She's... she's wonderful, isn't she?" His eyes are getting watery now. "I'm not surprised she has... many great friends..."

He sobs, barely stopping himself from crying.  
His hands are trembling.  
(Neha stares at her sketchbook.  
She can't handle this.)

"Anyway, I... I need to go now," he gets up, walking to the door. Then he turns back. "I hope you have a good day... oh. I still don't know your name."

She twists herself on her chair to look at him.

"It's Neha."

He nods.

"I see. Take care, Neha."

And with that, he leaves.  
Neha stares at the door until she hears something fall on the ground. It's her pen.  
She looks down and realizes her legs are shaking.  
Her whole body is shaking.  
She hugs herself, trying to calm down.  
Instead she's crying.  
God, she misses you so much.

One evening, when Karolina gets back to her dorm room, she finds Neha kneeling on her bed, crying over her sketchbook, a few torn pages around her.  
She stares at the notebook like it's wronged her somehow, and she's about to rip another page out before Karolina stops her.  
She's trembling in Karolina's arms, a mix of sorrow and frustration, and Karol doesn't even have to ask her anything for her to start talking.  
(Which is a bit odd, she doesn't open up that easily, but she's already been keeping her nightmares to herself for more than a month, she doesn't have the strength to keep this in, too.)

"Y-you know there's going to be a party at the end of the school year, right? I... I wanted all three of us to go together. I was going to invite you two..." she sobs, "A-and I was going to make our outfits, too, dresses for you and me and m-maybe a suit for Anna, I wasn't entirely sure yet, and they were going to be really different but there was also going to be a little something similar so that we clearly all matched," she grabs one of the torn pages, crumpling it by doing so, glaring at it through her tears, "I'd forgotten about it until now, but- but what does it matter? There's- there's no point anymore. There's no... no point..."

Oh, sweet, sweet Neha.  
She doesn't manage to add anything else, crying into her friend's shoulder, but she doesn't need to. Karolina gets it.  
Though she doesn't like it.  
(She's trying to calm her breathing, blinking a few rogue tears away.  
She'd been avoiding thinking about how you wouldn't be here for the party.  
She had plans too, you know?  
She had things to tell you.  
Things to confess.  
To both of you.  
She'd been dreading it as much as she'd been waiting for it.  
And now she won't get to say anything.  
But it's... it's fine.  
Things are just being delayed.  
She'll get to say everything she wants to say, eventually.  
Right?)  
Neha'd probably been planning this for a while.  
Karolina looks around them, eyeing the various torn pages.  
She's guessing these are all the designs Neha had thought up.  
(There are so many.  
Neha wanted this to be perfect.  
...  
It probably won't be perfect now.  
But...  
But it could still be great.)

"We could still go together," Karolina starts. "You could finish these dresses, and we could wear them at the party. Even if it's just the two of us." These last words taste slightly bitter on her tongue, but she ignores it, instead grabbing one of the pages, admiring the elaborate dark red dress on it with a smile. "We shouldn't let all of your work go to waste."

She feels Neha relax slightly in her arms as she hums in response, slowly calming down.  
It's silent for a bit.

"... It wouldn't really be the same though, would it?" Neha whispers. Karolina tightens her grip on her.

"It wouldn't," and she marks a pause because her voice is shaky and she needs to be strong right now, "but it wouldn't be all that bad, right?"

Though Karolina can't see it, there's the beginning of a smile on Neha's lips.

"... You're right. I'd love to go with you."

Karolina sighs in relief.  
She doesn't actually believe in her own words.  
Right now, she can only imagine a party with Neha _and_ you.  
(Of course she loves Neha and she's sure the time spent with just her would be lovely, but it'd still feel like something's missing.)  
But if Neha believes in her words...  
Then maybe she'll be able to believe in them, too.  
Until then, she'll just pretend to.

Neha moves away from her, gathering the torn pages. "So... Would you mind looking at these?"

Karolina shakes her head, "Of course not." And so they talk about the various dresses drawn on the paper, and for a few hours it almost feels like everything is okay.  
When they fall asleep in each other arms, Karolina thinks that maybe it _could_ be okay.

But life's just _waiting_ to prove Karolina wrong.  
It waits until after exams are over.  
It waits until after the party.  
It waits until summer vacation.  
Your friends are a bit happier now.  
Most of them are going back to their family, or going to do something fun.  
(Neha's going to Prague with Karolina and Tegan.  
The girls are pretty excited about it.)  
Your state hasn't been worsening, so they're allowing themselves to worry a bit less.  
Even if they don't see you for a few weeks, they think it'll be alright.  
They think they'll come back to find you still in bed.  
...  
They're wrong.  
It's the best time for life to strike, after all.

At this point, only Claire, Tadashi and Alistair are still at Arlington.  
(Alistair would have left sooner, but Tadashi still has some work to do and they're supposed to visit Al's family together.)  
And today, Claire's volunteering at the hospital.  
It's her last day for a while, because soon she's going back to France for a month, so she has nice little chats with the patients wishing her well and telling her they'll miss her.  
It's a bit bittersweet, but it mostly make her feel loved, so it's a pretty good day for her.  
Her joy's slightly dampened when she reaches your room, though.  
She still has mixed feelings about all this, because on one hand, she's happy to be able to help you, to take care of you, you know?  
But on the other hand, she wishes you weren't there at all.  
You don't deserve this.  
(She misses how brightly you smiled when you ate the cookies she made for you.)

But she's tough, so she pushes open the door to your room.  
(She shouldn't have, really.  
She should have let someone else check on you.)  
The check-up is alright.  
Nothing odd.  
But it's just to give her a false sense of security.  
Life's waiting.  
And waiting...  
And just as she's about to go, because she has more patients to check on, she'll spend more time with you later,  
the beeping of the cardiac monitor slows down.  
Claire stops then, turning back to examine it.  
She waits for a few seconds, hoping that it'll go back to normal.  
But it doesn't.  
It gets slower.  
And slower.  
And now she's running.  
She brings a doctor back to your room, and just as they enter,  
they get to hear one last beep before the monitor goes completely silent.

The doctor rushes over to your side, still, because she has to try.  
Claire's watching helplessly.  
It can't be.  
It can't.  
It has to be some cruel joke.  
But it's not.  
The doctor turns back to Claire and shakes her head.  
You're gone.  
Life's laughing.  
Claire's crying.  
Could she have saved you, were she more competent?  
Had she worked harder?  
The doctor tells her she couldn't have done anything.  
She knows it's supposed to be comforting, but it makes her feel useless, instead.  
She couldn't save you.  
And now...  
And now you're _dead_.  
(She falls to her knees when the word crosses her thoughts.  
The reality of what happened is settling in.  
You're...  
You're dead.  
You're never coming back.)

The doctor leaves because she has to tell the staff what happened, and people need to be contacted.  
She leads Claire out of the room before disappearing.  
Claire moves to sit on a nearby bench, then remains motionless for some time.  
Enough time for her tears to dry up and for her to watch the doctor come back with a few other people.  
(She glances worriedly at Claire before going into the room.)  
Eventually, Claire stands on wobbly legs and goes outside.  
With shaky hands, she takes out her phone.  
She can't...  
She can't be the only one to know.  
She can't just bear this knowledge alone.  
But it's summer vacation...  
Everyone's having fun...  
Wouldn't it be better to keep this to herself for a bit longer?  
It's going to ruin everything for everyone.  
...  
But it hurts so much.  
So, slowly, she types a single sentence.  
By the time she hits send, she's crying again.  
_"Anna's dead."  
  
_Tegan's the first of the group in Prague to see the text.  
(The girls are in the living room, discussing the design for some dress, from what he could tell.  
They're too concentrated to notice the text.)  
At first he thinks it's a misunderstanding.  
But what is there to misunderstand?  
It's pretty clear.  
When you're dead, you're dead.  
Nothing else.  
Still, Ellie sends a text asking for an explanation.  
And when the explanation never comes, Tegan's worries grow.  
A few others (Tadashi and Tyler, namely) who've seen Claire's message start flooding the chat.  
After a few minutes, Tadashi tells everyone that since Claire isn't answering, he's going to go to the hospital with Alistair.  
(Tegan thinks to himself that he probably could have just called.  
He'd do it himself if he didn't dread phonecalls so much.)  
Tegan's left to chat with Ellie and Tyler then.  
The conversation dies soon, though, because what can they say while they wait to hear from Tadashi?  
It's not a subject they can lightly chat about.  
So instead Tegan tries to distract himself with his computer.  
Which works for, like, three minutes.  
(But it doesn't really work because the whole time he feels like he might throw up.)  
Until he hears something shatter.

He leaves his room and runs (well, more like walks really fast) to the living room.  
There,  
he finds his sister standing completely still, eyes wide.  
Glass shards are scattered on the ground at her feet.  
Tegan's about to call her name,  
but then he realizes.  
He realizes she's looking at Neha.  
He realizes Neha's looking at her phone.  
They know.

"It's got to be a joke," Karolina whispers so quietly he barely hears her.  
It doesn't sound like she even believes herself.  
She sits down (but it's more falling down on the couch than properly sitting down) next to Neha, putting a hand on her arm.

"Right?"

Neha's still staring at the screen in front of her.  
She's only read one message.  
She's been reading it over and over again, hoping it'd change somehow, hoping she'd find another meaning to it.  
But no.  
_"Anna's dead."  
_That's all there is to it, isn't there?  
She takes a shaky inhale.  
But maybe Tadashi will bring better news.  
She shouldn't break now.  
(She's vaguely aware that there's something shaking next to her, but she's too busy trying her hardest to stay strong to really acknowledge it.)

Because Neha isn't answering her, Karolina looks up to Tegan for some kind of reassurance.

"Tegan?"

Her voice's breaking.  
She sounds so weak.  
She just needs _someone_ to tell her it'll be okay.  
But no one can.  
Not even him, no matter how badly he'd like to.  
But she needs him.  
He has to try.

"Let's wait for Tadashi to contact us, Karol. There's no point in-"

There's a little _ding_.  
Immediately Karolina's eyes are glued to Neha's phone while she scrolls down to the new message.

_"I just confirmed it with the hospital."_

Neha's hand's shaking.  
Karol's vision's getting blurry.  
Tegan's walking over to them.  
(Please, Tadashi, don't do this.)  
_Ding_.

_"At 10:23 am today, Anna passed away."_

Neha drops her phone, her breathing quickening at an alarming pace.  
(She can feel something breaking inside of her.)  
Karolina's gripping Neha's arm with both hands now, sobbing loudly into her shoulder.  
(Why? Why? Just _why?_ )  
Tegan's frozen.  
What even is happening?  
(Eventually, Neha turns to wrap an arm around Karolina.  
Neha isn't crying.  
She wishes she were.  
Instead she's kind of just... sitting there, shaking and holding her friend.  
She feels so empty.  
All the hope she'd been holding onto is gone.  
Just like that.  
What is she supposed to do now?  
...  
She holds Karolina tighter, burying her face into her hair.  
It's calming, somewhat.)

Your body's flown to France just a week later for your funeral.  
All of your friends cut their vacation short to attend it.  
(They never thought this'd be happening.  
They're too young for something like this, for fuck's sake.)  
It's not easy, though.  
Some of them are already crying.  
They're all staying huddled-up, not sure they'd be able to do this alone.  
(Karolina's hooked her arm with Neha's, keeping her close.  
She isn't crying right now, but her eyes are red already.  
It's like their default look lately. She's been crying so much.  
She's this close to crying again.  
Neha looks like she's faring better, but not really, actually.  
She's just not really there.  
She feels like she's dreaming.  
Nothing feels real.)

Neha looks around.  
She recognizes your father standing not too far away.  
He's crying, while some old woman's comforting him.  
(Their eyes meet for a second and she doesn't know why, but she feels guilty.  
...  
She had promised him she'd watch over you.)  
She sees a few teenagers, around her age.  
(Old classmates, she assumes.  
The adults with them are probably either their parents or your old teachers.)  
And...  
There's someone else, in the distance.  
Is that...  
Is that Lady A?  
Why is _she_ there?  
It strikes Neha as odd.  
But she doesn't dwell on it too much.  
It doesn't really matter.  
(What _does_ matter these days?  
Not a lot.)

When they bring your coffin, it's...  
It's a lot.  
Those who weren't crying yet are crying now.  
(Not Neha though.  
But she can't take her eyes off your coffin, following it as it approaches the gaping hole in the ground.  
Karol's sobbing is filling her ears.  
She feels like she'd fall if Karol wasn't holding onto her so tightly.  
She feels wrong.)

This isn't a big ceremony, there's not going to be any speech.  
This is just a gathering of sad, sad people here to say goodbye to someone they cared about.  
That's why they're already lowering your coffin into the ground.  
And when it disappears from view,  
something inside Neha snaps.  
You're gone.  
Her eyes widen as she watches them shoveling dirt onto your coffin.  
Onto you.  
You're never going to get out of this hole.  
You're never coming back to her.  
No.  
No, no, no...  
She's never going to hear you laugh again.  
You're never going to hold her hand again.  
Or hold her at all.  
You're never going to tell her how much you care about her ever again.  
But no.  
That can't be.  
What about all the promises?  
You'd promised to bake for her one day.  
To model for her.  
To meet her siblings.  
To show her your favorite spot back home.  
You'd promised so many things, and she'd be looking forward to it all.  
But none of it will ever happen now.

And so at last,  
Neha's crying.  
She gets it now.  
Karolina's been doing this for days.  
Thinking about everything that'll never be.  
All on her own.

"Karol, I'm sorry, I- I- she's- she's really-"

There's too much coming to her all at once, it's all getting mixed up.  
But at least she can cry with her friend now.  
That's something.  
Soon enough they're hugging while crying, Neha's face buried in Karol's chest.  
It's so warm.  
Finally something that feels nice.  
Well, it's nice until Karol's legs give out and she falls, dragging Neha down with her.  
She's lying on the ground with Neha on top of her now, her head and back really hurt and she's still crying and feeling like everything's gone to shit.

When Tegan and Claire rush over to them and ask if they're okay, she stares at them before yelling a broken "No!".  
Her anger doesn't last for more than a second, though.  
She feels too pathetic for that right now.  
Tegan moves closer to them, extending a hand, but then hesistates.  
He retracts his hand.  
Instead of helping them up, he decides to lie down next to them, tears silently sliding down his cheeks.  
Claire opts to sit instead, folding her legs against her, sobbing softly into her knees.  
And before Karolina knows it, her friends are lying down near them one by one, save for Tadashi who chooses to sit down with Claire.  
(Until Raquel drags Claire down and he feels left out so he lies down, too.)  
There's nothing cute or joyful about this, though.  
Everyone's crying.  
Everyone's mourning a friend, or an almost lover.  
But...  
It does make Karolina feel a little less shitty.  
A little less lonely.  
So it's not so bad.  
And so this horrible, horrible day ends on a horrible, but not too horrible note.

Going back to school after everything is _hard_.  
Summer vacation was just enough time for their wounds to close.  
Not heal.  
But they still have to attend classes like nothing ever happened.  
(Even though everyone knows you're dead.  
The school had to give a speech about your death at the beginning of the year because of how many people knew of Arlington's sweetheart.  
But most don't really care.)  
All your friends can do is push through this and hope it'll get easier with time.  
And, hey.  
At least they're not alone.  
They have each other.  
It makes things bearable.  
(Claire starts spending more time with Neha and Karolina.  
It's a strange change of pace.  
Not a bad one, though.  
She softens Karolina.  
Claire's kindness is getting to her.)

Time passes, and things do get a bit easier.  
Your memory's still heavy on their mind, but...  
They make many other, happier memories together. To balance it out.  
Karolina and Neha finally, officially start dating.  
(When they tell the others, they all just stare at them.  
"You mean you guys _weren't_ dating before?" Raquel asks.  
They're a bit embarrassed, but still really happy, so it doesn't matter.)  
They share their first kiss, too, but that's a private matter.  
(It's actually an accident, they're sitting on Karol's bed and when she leans in to kiss Neha on the cheek, she loses balance and they both fall down.  
And instead of kissing Neha's cheek, she kisses her lips.)

So, when graduation day comes, they're...  
They're okay.  
Sure, it's bittersweet because they're about to part ways, but it's not all bad, you know?  
They won't be gone forever. (Unlike someone else.)  
They can still make plans to meet up again, and they will.  
They'll make sure of it. (They can't make the same mistake twice.)  
But, for now, they have a party to attend.

A year later, Karolina and Neha fly to France to visit your grave.  
They already agreed to visit it next month with the others, but it'll be different.  
Next month, it'll be a visit to a lost friend.  
Today, it's a visit to...  
Something different.  
Technically not a lover, you all never managed to get to that.  
But that's how it feels to them.  
So... Just let them have this.  
Besides, they wouldn't be able to talk to you with the others around.  
It'd be embarrassing.

"You know, you could have had a different favorite flower. Buying bouquets of lavender... doesn't feel too conventional," Karol says, eyeing your grave drowning in lavender.  
Why did they buy so much, again?  
Neha chuckles softly.

"It smells good, at least."

Karolina doesn't say anything to that, just smiles.  
They stay silent for a bit.

"You know, we visited your father before coming here," Neha begins. "He was really surprised to see us. We... probably should have called beforehand or something."

"To be fair, we hadn't planned on visiting him at first."

"True, but still... Anyway. We chatted with him for a bit, and... When Karol went to the bathroom, I apologized to him." Karol's eyes widen at that. "Not for the impromptu visit, but... Back when you were still in the hospital, I promised him I'd watch over you. And, well... We know how that ended."

"Neha, you _know_ it's not-"

"It's not my fault. I know. You told me before, Karol, it's just... I couldn't help feeling guilty. No matter how much I told myself I couldn't have done anything. So I apologized anyway." She sighs, leaning onto Karol and closing her eyes. "You know what he said, though? He said 'thank you'. Not for the apology, but for keeping my promise. I... I thought maybe he'd misunderstood me, so I tried to explain, but he shushed me with a smile. You had someone who cared about you around until the end, and that's what mattered."

"Is... is that why you were crying when I came back?"

"... Maybe. It just... made me feel so much better, I couldn't help it. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders."

"Is that also why you ran up to me and kissed me right in front of her father?"

Neha raises an eyebrow at that, though her cheeks darken.

"Do I need a reason to do that?"

"No, but you wouldn't normally do that in front of someone."

Neha looks away. Karol smirks.  
After a minute, though, Neha stares at your grave with her own smirk.

"You know, Karol had her embarrassing moment, too."

Karol's eyes widen at that, suddenly looking quite alarmed.

"Neha-"

"At some point your father showed us your room, still untouched, then left us for a bit to get drinks."

"Neha, _please-_ "

"When he came back, he found Karol lying on your bed, hugging your long bee plushie. She was _so_ comfortable there that she didn't notice him until he coughed."

"I-!"

"He even told her she could take the plushie if she liked it so much."

"..."

"She did take it, by the way."

By now, Karol's blushing like mad.  
But there's something else.

"... It's not about the plushie," she says quietly.

"I know."

"She just... had a smaller version of it at school, so I recognized it."

"I know, Karol."

"And it... it smelled like her, just a little bit."

Neha hears a sniffle then, and she looks up to see Karol's biting her lip, eyes watery.  
But she clenches her eyes shut and shakes her head, and when she opens her eyes again, it seems like the moment has passed.  
Still, Neha grabs her hand, just in case.

(It's not easy for them.  
They could have been three, but they're just two.  
Now they hold onto each other to make sure they stay that way, at least.)

They keep chatting with you for a while, until it gets dark and they need to go.  
They were supposed to stay at a hotel for the night, before flying back to the States, but instead they're staying at your place.  
Your dad offered.  
He could use the company, he told them.  
When they have dinner with him, it...  
It feels so strange.  
It's pleasant, of course.  
But strange.  
It almost feels like you're actually there and they're all visiting your family together.  
But you're not there.  
It makes their heart ache a bit.  
But when they go to sleep, they put your bee plushie between them and hold it tight, and they feel content again.  
They'll be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> idk if u can tell how by the time i got to the funeral i just wanted to end this once and for all, then when i started writing the kinda epilogue with karol&neha i was like oh shit that slaps


End file.
